It was very sweet, I wanted a picture of Amade and obviously Inacio had tipped him off that I've taken pictures of them all, as he seemed to be expecting it. He said he wanted his picture taken with his friend Inacio. A friend indeed as he's done double shifts in the house, covering for Amade's week off with malaria, without complaint of any kind.

Amade is back at work and in extremely high spirits. In his words, ‘the devils have left him’, and he’s in rude health again. He had a permanent headache for a few days, and under orders from us, finally went to hospital. You are very likely to leave the hospital a lot less well than when you arrived. It is easily Ilha’s grandest building with a bombastic neo-classical entrance, flanked by two equally over-stated wings, which in its heyday attracted ill people from as far as Kenya, two countries north. Now of course it is abandoned and home to chickens and squatters, with the staircases missing and ceilings open to the sky. Only the southern wing functions as a hospital still, with nurses begging visitors for cash, and beds only for the most unwell.

Amade tested negative for malaria there, and they sent him away with a tiny envelope of white pills that were all different and unmarked. He said they made him a lot worse and had stopped taking them. Since I took his temperature once with the thermometer we brought, he has been back for more a few times, sometimes hinting, sometimes asking outright for his temperature to be taken again. It has always shown normal. This time, we sat expectantly as usual until it beeped, and it was really quite high. A second test showed he had malaria, after a few days of misdiagnosis and no treatment.

This is Antonio, one of our two night guards. He's very funny because he's a little rough round the edges, and sometimes comes barrelling into the kitchen very thirsty and drinks heavily from the tap, then abruptly and wordlessly leaves. Even I can tell his Portuguese is rough, but he knows I barely understand it, so says it once in a normal voice then immediately a lot louder says it again. But he's very funny and sneaked in when I played a Bruce Lee movie to myself through the only projector in the Nampula province (the size of Scotland?? probably a lot more), and did his guarding from a chair in our downstairs.

Joana finds something of the night about the expressions on Antonio and Inacio in these pictures, something creepily flirty, which I can definitely see. But she says it's the putting of it online that seems somehow, what's the word, pimpy, which I can see too. Inacio's giving it loads in his. I explained that their picture is being seen by my parents, family and friends in the UK, friends in France, Portugal and the US, and everyone in the whole world, and they laughed, I think at my poor Portuguese.

The southern end of Ilha is guarded by a tiny triangular Portuguese fort on a bizarre rock which for two days every new moon is accessible for an hour on foot from Ilha. The rest of the time the causeway is underwater. There is a lethal rusty ladder up to the overhang, and then quite tricky climbing to the fort.

Joana presenting to the guesthouse owners of Ilha our Vision for 2015. That's the President's photo on the chair on the left of the stage, who fell over noisily when they moved him to get a better view of the screen.

The normal form is to accept the request to have your picture taken a bit impassively, and then pull the face of your choice. She looked very grumpy in the picture but was dead keen to see her image on the camera. Apparently you have to show the photo you've taken as otherwise it's seen as rude.

There is nothing tribal about this face paint, though it has become quite iconic of this area as it's so striking. She is wearing the paste from the root of a plant which softens the skin. It's a beauty treatment. But flaunting that you're undergoing the treatment in public is normal, and the girls wearing this seem self conscious but proud when they are snapped by photographers.

Tufo dancing on Ilha

I know Joana says I’m obsessed with the house-staff, but I haven’t had any before, and they are fascinating. Also they are the only people we see apart from each other all day, so they have to deal with me trying to amuse them. Hence wearing stupid hats and seeing if they react. I have an Australian beachguard’s skullcap, red and yellow quartered, with long white strings which hang down either side. No reaction when I wore that. An excellent response to the African trousers I brought however. First Ignacio made some private comment to Antonio – must have been, ‘what are those trousers’. And then their curiosity overcame their normal reluctance to start a conversation with someone who speaks neither of their languages (and seems quite strange anyway). But strangely later I tried on the hat of the same material as the trousers and received no response, which is odd given that it is a little Islamic in style, and Antonio even wears one. I just can’t work it out.

So the current fascination with the guards is their commute. Amade walks to work for 45 minutes from his home on the mainland. That means a walk along the coast. Crossing the sea on the single lane bridge which always has a howling gale blowing over it. And then walking the length of the island. Simao lives in Lungo, which I think is a 1.5 hour walk according to some students who were hassling me for money. But Antonio is the best of them all. He cycles for 3 hours from a town neither of us has heard of. He stays somewhere we don’t know in between shifts and then cycles home, 3 days after leaving. It makes the Hammersmith & City seem like going to work by ticker tape parade.

At home

Our bedroom

Now that internet and power are back (!) here’s some news about us:

the project
We are collaborating with an NGO, called TechoServe, and our job is to attract sustainable tourism to a little island off the northern coast of the Mozambique- Ilha de Moçambique, full of amazing historical heritage, but very much neglected now.
The format has been very much like a consulting engagement, but in a rather exotic setting!
Our Steering Committee is made of very interesting and different individuals: there is one charming historian that is a native of the island; a former minister of culture of Mozambique, highly educated man with a piercing mind; an Austrian investor, with farms and businesses in several African countries, and the country manager of the NGO, a man full of ideas and enthusiasm.
The other day we made a presentation to the local authorities, which was quite surreal/cool. We were expecting a one-to-one meeting with the Governor of the province, but, in fact, all his entourage of Directors, local dignitaries of different sorts were there to listen to us… so we presented, took questions from the audience and the local journalists and in the end the Governor invited us to do a full day seminar with the provincial government! The Governor was a very nice to us, inviting us for lunch with him, where we discussed Portuguese football!
We are now writing a tourism development plan, and after that we will be focusing on developing specific business plans for hotels and resorts and doing an investor roadshow to attract a hotel brand into the island. We are also looking into a proposal to change the property law in Mozambique, to create more security to foreign investors. All pretty cool work!
Rory is also looking into some more glamorous stuff like promoting Ilha a location for filming historical movies and potentially having a documentary shot here.

the island
Ilha de Moçambique is, in Rory’s words “post apocalyptic”. It is a tiny island (1.5km long x 600m wide) that was major trading post for Arabs, Portuguese, Dutch, French… from 15th century, and the former capital of the country, flooded with refugees during the civil war in the 1980s. It has amazing architecture with European and Arabic influences, including a 15th century Portuguese fort, a 18th century former palace of the governor, colorful mosques, baroque churches, a hindu temple, thatched huts amid the trees… all in a dramatic setting of azure waters and endless horizons. There are also incredible white sandy beaches, literally deserted in some inhabited islands and on the continent nearby. The sad bit is, much of if is in ruins, many of the people here are very poor and live as squatters.
We are very fortunate to be staying in a wonderfully renovated water-front house, where we have unbroken views of the sea, a great balcony and a house staff of 4 (Amad, Ignácio, António and Simão).

our routine
For the first time in my life, I am exercizing! Every day we wake up at 6 am (sunrise is quite early) and do one hour in front of the exercise DVD to the bafflement/amusement of our house staff and the people passing by in dhows!
Breakfast is a moment of excitement for Inácio and Amade, as they like to play with the newly bought appliances: there is a juicer for fresh juice and a blender for milk shakes. Rory has successfully implemented English tea, eggs, and toast with marmite (!), as I have implemented espresso coffee!
Then we go up to the large room upstair where we have set up our office for the day’s work.
We eat a lot fresh fish and seafood, from the market, with sweet potatoes, mandioca and local vegetables. We have had to adapt to the seasonality of food supplies. In Europe you are used to supermarket shelves that reliably always have the same stuff, but here you can’t quite plan very closely what you’ll eat: there is fish once the fishermen have gotten in from sea, bananas sometimes, mangoes in season, etc.
Sunset is usually time for gin and tonic and applying insect repellent!
In the evenings Rory does his Portuguese lesson and I read the odd chapter of “War and Peace”. Sometimes we go into town for a beer or people come by for dinner- we had a good time with the Museum Director and his stories of the time of doing his PhD in Germany.
Our staff are very sweet and never bat an eye at our weird habits. On our 18-month “anniversary” we decided to have dinner at the roof top, under the stars, just for fun! So Amade and Inácio carried the table, the chairs and the rest of the tableware to the rooftop, no questions asked J!

our travels
We are doing our best to explore the country, even though it is expensive and lengthy to travel in Mozambique.
We had a truly great safari in the Kruger, where we saw all sorts of animals (its amazing how little notice lions take of you!) and stayed in a very charming lodge inside the park, complete with a Victorian bathtub in the room, wine cellar and a watering hole in front of our balcony where elephants came to drink!
Londo Lodge was another highlight, a deluxe beach lodge in Pemba bay (north of Mozambique) where, on top of the private beach, sea-view villa and infinity pool, we had mud wraps on the beach, diving and sushi!
Around Ilha we have done day trips to the beaches nearby, which are lovely, but where there is nothing else there, no sunshades, no sunloungers, no people, no road… just the beach! After a while some fishermen appear carrying a still-live lobster or squid to sell you, putting the change in their snorkel and disappearing again.

This is Inácio.

We thought for our 18-month anniversary we'd have dinner on the roof. We pulled out all the stops and had wine, a starter of eggs benedict, baked parrot fish and crepes to finish. The guards were completely impassive about lugging all the furniture and crockery to the roof with me, perhaps frazzled after so many other more confusing things, such as 1400 songs on a Music Player, and beef tea.

You see weird and wonderful transport on the main commuter line to the mainland. This is the saddest sail.

On our balcony, mainland behind

Jaime - chief negotiator in street shopping, 4x4 wizard and excellent fellow.

Enika is the tipple of choice of any discerning tramp, as it is so strong (don't let any get on your hands) and yet costs only 60p for this expertly made bottle you see here, craftily designed for back pockets. Made from bananas, sends you bananas. We've been drinking it since the gin ran out.

An Ilha street

The nearby beach in Cabaceira

Working

At home, in the "office"

On the weekend, we took a 20 min boat ride to Ilha de Goa, an uninhabited tiny island nearby, and spent the day on the beach. Rory did a barbecue with driftwood and coconuts and we both got sunburned!

Londo lodge, Pemba- as seen from the boat

Londo lodge, Pemba-infinity pool

Rory paddling away for the day! Londo lodge, Pemba

Big bath in the bedroom- Londo lodge, Pemba

Londo lodge, Pemba-

Londo Lodge, Pemba- view from bedroom

Lunchtime at Londo lodge in Pemba

Steps down to the beach and old dhow jetty behind

Joana at home

Our downstairs

Our house, the balcony

Ilha’s funny ways

Joana comes to me saying shes trying to get the house guards to move our bags from room to room now that our benefactor is visiting. She says they need constant guidance and tutelage. She says that she loses them both for a second. Where are they?

The banana man has come. He doesnt have change for bananas. No one has change. One of our guards is discovered, hes with the banana man, eating a banana. Wheres the other? Hes praying. There will be a delay to progress for a bit.

Ilha’s funny ways

I enjoy interacting with the guards. This often is showing them MY funny ways, and seeing their reaction. Yesterday I explained that we dont have many barbecues in England because its often cold. They took some time over this fact and then came and asked if we had coal. We needed Joana to translate this. They were nervous that I called Joana to translate something unimportant. But it was fine. Today I introduced the concept of Bovril. Cha de vaca I said to Ignacio, holding out the Bovril pot. As always there follows a silence while he decides which of the three interaction types this might be: instruction, admonishment, information. This was information, a peculiarity of mine.

Its possible to watch these concepts fly in and look for a place to settle in the branches of their understanding, and find none. There are different phases to watch, like a difficult mouthfuls passage through the throat, and journey on to the stomach. Cha de vaca was a combination of ideas that needed plenty of time. What facet of tea was meant? What of cow? His version of what it might mean was decided on, accepted and filed somewhere arbitrarily in his worldview. It is like the bad Portuguese I speak with Amade. There is a paucity of reference points to tell us if we have understood each other. All we have as guidance is consequent action and good faith.

This might be the first entry of my first ever blog on the first part of the Rory and Joana mission in Africa! As soon as I get the chance I'll put some pictures on here of us, and our beautiful stop off in the Kruger National Park

Dhow going past our backyard

Lion, Kruger

Rhino Post Lodge's library, the Kruger

Our room in the Rhino Post Lodge, the Kruger

Setting off from Cockles. The Campbell male favours belt-mounted gear.

Joana on the 'contracosta' of Ilha, taken from old cinema, low tide

Giraffe with smug man

On safari in Kruger National Park, me as Miami Vice Joana as gypsy

Welcome to Ilha de Moçambique!